Hey Blinkin’!
This is a portrait of Abe Lincoln that I did a bit back with my Wacom tablet for a digital art class I was taking. It was the first time I had ever used a tablet. The teacher said he had never seen someone pick up the tool so quickly… I don’t understand why. It’s just like using an ink pen, which is what I’m used to… except I can erase!
Anyway. Abe Lincoln is a fascination of mine. You will likely see him in some of my other artwork.
Worst Star Wars costumes ever… or best?
I think that kid at the bottom is trying to be Jabba the Hut. But kuddos to R2-D2!
Absenteeism
Hey folks! (if there’s anyone out there who still checks this site)
I’ve been neglecting the site for a little while and I’m sorry to anyone who has been looking for new material here. So I’ll put this into a “5 Reasons” topic and try to make it a little fun.
5 Reasons why I’ve been neglecting my website for the last week or so.
5. Christmas is coming.
It has been busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking competition at work with all the concerts and stuff coming to the Forum and we have been putting in a lot of late nights. It’s hard to catch up and write something substantial when you’ve been up all night busting your hump (sometimes literally…) all night long and then have shit to do in the daytime too. You work enough night shifts and you start to feel like a vampire. They sun burns us geeks to begin with.
4. Trying to spend more time with the little lady.
My girlfriend and I live separately (until we get married) and work completely opposite schedules most of the time. So when I get a chance to spend some time with her, I pretty much drop everything and go. Even if there’s something interesting I could be posting… Dinner, cuddling and sex wins out 10 times out of ten. Sorry, but that’s where you lay in the grand scheme of things. Just thought I’d let you know.
3. Internet lameness.
Part of the fun of a site like this is reporting on cool stuff that happens elsewhere on the internet. But I am sad to say that the internet has been a barren wasteland of interestingness lately. On the information superhighway I have felt like Mad Max searching the wasteland for some precious bits of anything to keep my machine running. Yet all I can find is faggot bikers in assless chaps. Nothing to see here! Move along folks!
2. Battlefield 3
I rented Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 and played it a bit. I was not impressed to say the least. But then a fellow worker and fellow writer here on this site turned me on to Battlefield 3 and… Oh my God… I have been loving the Shit out of this game! I used to play Battlefield 2 online back when it was out and found it annoying for various reasons… but they seem to have eliminated a lot of those problems and made a really nice, well rounded war game. So I have been joining forces online to defeat the enemy. I have to do my duty for my country. Plus, I love driving tanks and shooting people in the head. Who doesn’t?
1. I hurt my back at work.
Lifting some of the heavy glass that I’ve done a thousand times before without any issue, yesterday my back just said “Fuck you, I need some time off!”. A disc in the center of my spine shifted out of place just a bit and all the muscles in my back contracted and screamed out in pain all at once. Now I know what Obi Wan Kenobi felt when Alderan exploded. The doc took x-Rays and said everything looked normal, and gave me some great muscle relaxers and pain killers to take home. Looks like I’ll be driving the forklift for a while. But in the meantime… BATTLEFIELD 3 and DRUGS!
But I digress, I will try to keep this site current, and I will try to get the other authors up off their lazy asses and get them to participate as well.
So please, stay tuned!
Thanks!
Consurgo (Steampunk weirdness)
Consurgo from Colorbleed Studios on Vimeo.
I have no idea what in the fuck is going on here… but it’s got to be one of the most fucked up things I’ve seen in a long long time.
Turnabout… is fair play.
Ever notice how in all these superhero posters, all the male superheroes are posed to look as tough and bad-ass as possible… yet the women of the groups more or less just show off their tight leather-covered asses? Will, artist Kevin Bolk did, and he decided to retaliate. I think it’s the Hulk that makes me laugh the most.
Realistically Encumbered Link
This was done by an artist called WAKABEE whose other art you can see on his Deviant Art site.
What is cool to me is that he chose to point out the ridiculousness of just how much equipment an adventurer carries in these games. One of the worst offenders of this is the Elder Scrolls games. I’m sneaking up on my enemies with 345 Lbs worth of equipment hidden away somewhere on my body? I don’t think so.
Realistically, you would need a team of pack mules to carry all the shit you pick up in most adventure games. Have you ever gone backpacking or camping? You have to carry a huge pack just to have the essentials with you. If you are an awesome nature survivalist and you know how to live completely off the land, you might be able to get by on a minimum of stuff in your pack… but lets face it, most of us can’t even cook without reading the instructions on the box of Mac-n-cheese. And Link here is on an Epic quest to save the princess! No telling where it will lead him or when he’s ever getting back. So everything he finds is necessary to his adventuring. Ever try catching fairies without a net? Yeah… I didn’t think so.
Lasers!
http://www.wickedlasers.com/lasers/S3_Krypton_Series-113-63.html
Now here’s a gadget I would love to own! How fricking cool is a “Laser”? Especially one that can burn shit!!!! But a thousand dollars for the most powerful one? I’ll pass for now. It can only burn stuff like plastic CD cases, pop balloons, paper, etc.
Lasers are still in their infancy. Those over 30 probably remember how far and fast personal computers have gotten in the past 15 years. Cell phones for everyone was unheard of 20 years ago. Now every kid has one. Lasers will soon follow the same progression. I just hope they will be available for purchase, outside of military applications.
I want a hand held one, looking like an Army .45, a Luger, or maybe a Cowboy Six Shooter. One that can vaporize a hole in an engine block, in a microsecond. One that can make someone evaporate. One that can shoot for father than you can even see. I guess my final choice would be a phaser from the original Star Trek. How coo l would that be?
Well, maybe that’s a bit far fetched, but you get my drift.
Set Phasers for Stun!
http://www.youtube.com/user/styropyro?feature=grec_index
Here’s a YouTube channel from a guy who tests lasers and even makes his own.
Far Cry 3
One of my all time favorite first-person shooters is Far Cry 2. With it’s exotic location of Africa and it’s amazing fire propagation and injury cut-scenes, it has a lot more going for it than your regular run-of-the-mill shooter. Fighting malaria and mercenaries in the jungles and shanty-towns with a plethora of weapons and incredible AI, taking out bad-guys with my machete… it’s by far one of the best games I’ve played.
So imagine how happy I was to see the following trailer…
God Damn did that look awesome! The stealth kills with the knives, and being able to snag weapons away from people… this game looks amazing! Plus the added creepiness of everyone on the island slowly going insane will explain why you need to be shooting just about everyone you ever come into contact with. I personally cannot wait!
Have some fun with some not-so-computer-savvy people in your life.
Through a post on Reddit I found this site which, to the untrained eye, will make you look like a genius computer hacker… just like in the movies. Think The Matrix or Swordfish.
Just go to hackertyper.com press F11 to get full screen and then type like a monkey on meth. It’s actually pretty satisfying.
Here’s how I would go about it…
The next time someone wants me to “fix” their computer for them and there’s nothing wrong but a bunch of spyware or a wrong setting or something…
I will put CCleaner on in the background, bring up this page, crack my knuckles and say “Please… stand back. This is going to take all of my concentration.” And then I will start to furiously type. After typing about ten lines. I’ll say something like
“AHA! I found him! He’s trying to break in the back door! Not on my watch!”
And then I’ll type even faster. Then I will ask the person questions about Star Wars or something and carry on a small conversation while I type fast as hell and cut them off every once in a while with…
“Oh no you aren’t! He’s cracking though the firewall! But don’t worry, I’ve got the perfect code to trap him! Take that!!!”
And then I’ll just smile a long smile at them while I type like the wind. Bonus points if you sip from a drink while still furiously typing with one hand. Once I see that CCleaner is done, I will reboot the system. I will then switch to my phone and say…
“He’s out of the Matrix, but I can track him remotely via my 4G connection using my GPS!”
Then I will run out the front door, jump into my vehicle and burn rubber out of there.
Later on I will send the person a text saying…
“Got him, it wasn’t easy. Just be careful what you click on.
Bootleg Prometheus Trailer [ALIEN Prequel]
I know, I know… the quality is super shitty, But did you see how good the fucking movie looked!?
This is the prequel to Alien made by Ridley Scott. It kind of has a bit of a Inception thing going on that is popular now with movie trailers, but it also has a lot of sounds from the original 1979 movie that made it so iconic. There looked like some great suspense and awesome action in there… and I Also saw a black guy with a fro… so, that’s cool as Hell. I personally can’t wait.
When a better version of this trailer comes out i will be all over it like a facehugger on Kane!
