Disgusting Creatures

The animal kingdom has some bizarre creatures with habits that I find disgusting. Lions eat their young, pigs roll around in their own filth, and birds eat and regurgitate food into the mouths of their babies. It’s all pretty nasty, but it serves a purpose. For instance, when a dog eats another animal’s feces, it’s doing so because it’s removing their scent from it’s territory. Gross, but interesting.

The most disgusting creature to me though is none other than human beings, and they’re gross for no reason. I’m exaggerating, you say? Work where I work, and see what I see, and then you’ll understand.

I work in one of the most unclassy establishments in the history of man, and the people that frequent this establishment are absolute lowlifes. Unfortunately, I work long hours on the weekends, so at one point or another I have to go into the bathroom. I’m going to tell a couple of pretty gross stories, so if you’re eating, you may want to read this later.

Is there anything more infuriating than having to take a dump, and going into a stall to find a toilet seat covered in piss? It’s like these assholes don’t even try. First of all, you don’t even have to lift the seat with your hand. Just use your foot to kick the seat up, do what you came to do, and flush the damn toilet!

Not a day goes by where I don’t go into the restroom and find a bunch of unflushed toilets. And it’s not just pee, because pee I can deal with. I’ve seen complete logs floating in there, and it gets worse. Messy shits go unflushed all the time. If it were in a pot on the stove, I’d think it was bad smelling chili.

And then there’s vomit. We serve alcohol, and some of the lightweights can’t handle their booze, so they go throw up. Now, I’ve had to puke before, but not often because I have a pretty high tolerance to alcohol. The few times that I have puked from drinking, I still maintained the ability to keep my head straight. When these assholes throw up, they often get it on the toilet seat, the walls of the stall, and the floor. Hell, I’ve even seen puke stains on the ceiling!

For an interesting story about people who couldn’t handle their booze where I work, read this post by my friend- The Daily Cop – Beer before liquor….

Now, so far I’ve described situations of carelessness and laziness. Now I’m going to talk about people who are disgusting assholes on purpose. You know how cakes have icing on them, and there’s usually a lining of frosting around the outside rim of the cake? Well, I’ve seen toilets with the seat lined in shit all the way around. Yes, someone went through the effort of of pooping along the edge of the toilet seat. Either that, or they handled their own shit, to arrange the decoration.

That’s not the worst one that I’ve seen though. I suppose that my next connoisseur was a fan of irony. I say that because one day I walked into the men’s room to find the word “shit” written on the bathroom mirror, in shit. That means that someone either took a dump into their hand, or pooped into the toilet (or maybe the floor), and picked up the turd. Even if they wore a glove or something, which I doubt, they still handled a piece of poop as if it were a sharpie.

When you think about it, people really are more disgusting than animals, because animals are never gross due to laziness, or on purpose. It’s not like it’s one or two people either. I’m talking about several different people, and all at the same location. So imagine how many people are like this across the nation. Animals may do grosser things, but they aren’t intentional. Being intentionally disgusting is exponentially worse. You want to know what the nastiest animal is? It’s humans, hands down.